Waiting for baby

Ahhh the end of pregnancy….What a joyous and exciting time this is, where mother’s-to-be blossom into Snow White and begin spring-cleaning their houses to perfection, whilst whistling a merry tune, joined by the local neighbourhood birds as we bake apple pies in the oven to present our wonderful Prince Charmings when they return home from their day at work… NOT!

The end of pregnancy is HARD (actually it’s all hard, but this bit is hard with the added bonus of not being able to see your toes anymore). You’re tired, you’re big, you can’t bend down to pick something up without having to rush to the toilet. Every time you lie down you experience heartburn akin to taking a backwards absinthe shot and for some reason your body decides that the weeks leading up to when you’ll have a newborn baby and thus no-more-sleep-ever, is a great time to get you to start waking up in the night for absolutely no reason. You begin to feel more like a large cow than a human woman and desperately try to remember what it was like to have your body to yourself, struggling to picture the older, skinnier you who could fit into a pair of leggins without making holes in them. Your partner laughs when you get your belly out, telling you that you look like a truck driver/ Homer Simpson and thinking it’s hilarious until he sees your face and realise you actually may kill him, hiding the big knife in the kitchen just in case.

It can be an incredibly difficult time, made only more difficult by the fact that the end to your suffering is labour. So essentially, the relief from your discomfort will be excruciating pain. Of course, all of this is forgotten as soon as the baby is born and after a few days the lovey-dovey chemical in your brain convinces you how worth it it all was just in case you ever fancy doing it again. Having a baby ( once they are here) is the most wonderful experience in the world, however that doesn’t mean a pregnant lady can’t have a good moan as she waits impatiently for that moment to arrive!



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