I am having a bit of an emotional moment. I’m currently at a soft play with Samuel and for the first time ever he’s gone off to play without me, confidently running into the maze of squidgy apparatus without so much as a glance behind him to see where I am. This, coupled with the fact that he now has a vocabulary of 20-30 words has started to give me the “he’s so grown up” feels.
Having a rare moment to sit alone with my thoughts has allowed me to reflect on how quickly the time has gone since he was born just over two years ago and also on how becoming a mother changed and shaped my life in ways I never thought it would.
Before I had my son, I – like most other twenty year olds- viewed parenthood as something scary, the heavy responsibility of which I was certain was at least a decade away. When it transpired that I would, in fact, be joining the “young mums” category, The phrase “you’ll grow up with your children” was tossed around a lot, but personally I found this not to be the case. When I knew I was going to be a mother, I grew up overnight.
It was time to get serious, something I hadn’t been very good at up until that point. In the year that proceeded my son’s birth, I learnt to drive, cook, completed a college course and got a job in a local primary school. Not only was I finally putting the wheels into motion when it came to sorting my life out, I also had direction and purpose that I’d never had before. I decided I wanted to be a counsellor and started taking the steps towards achieving that goal. This year, I pushed myself to fulfil my lifelong dream and wrote a book, which will be coming soon to Amazon. All of these things were done through the drive that having my son has blessed me with. He is my motivation and as long as I am his mother I will continue to work the hardest I can to create a life for us where we are stable, happy and fulfilled.
I can’t say for certain what path my life would have taken if I hadn’t have become a mother, but I do know that it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, regardless of my age or situation at the time. The best things in life are often unexpected and we have a habit of not knowing what we really need until we’re presented with it. There may be more pressure and harder work in my life than I thought there would be, but there’s also greater reward, deeper happiness and bigger love than I ever could have imagined! And I wouldn’t change it for anything.
End of cheesey rant.